"Life is full of things I can't control"

AYUSHMAN'S POV

One stupid mistake can change everything. I didn't really believe it at first as I have always ought to be a perfectionist in everything I do. But I never knew that Love is never meant to be perfect and the more we try to perfect it the more we ruin it.

I always thought that telling her and showing her that I love her was enough to keep her by my side. But in three years all that I have learned is that no matter how much you love a person it is never enough to build a relationship. Love is fine as long it's alone but relationships and marriages are messy they don't just require love but trust, understanding, and respect.

I just heard somewhere that if you really love someone let them go and if they come back to you then you were destined to be with them. So, I let her go and never tried finding where she is. I just know that like the last time how she came into my life unexpectedly this time as well, she's arrived at the most unexpected moment all I have to do is to wait for her to come back to me.

Guess, timing is the most important thing. The decisions you make and when you make them, the people you meet at what point in your life it all comes down to timing.

I will wait until the timing is right when all the stars aligned and she is ready for this love of mine. I will let her take her time and clear what's in her mind because to me she is worth the fight.

For most of the time in these three years, I thought Radhika came back because She and I are meant to be but after being with her for these three years I just realized that what we had back then wasn't love nor was it even a real relationship. We were just playing our roles trying to run away from our own realities. She too realized that what we have now is purely platonic and so we are just colleagues who are just good friends.

My relationship with my parents is improving little by little but there's no guarantee that things with them will go back to how they were in the past, especially with my mom. She still despises me for ruining my own marriage and letting her daughter-in-law go.

Do I regret my actions? Hell yeah, I just wish I had the power to go back in time I just go and slap myself hard for everything but since I can't do that I can just rectify everything in the present or the future.

It's been almost three years since I have last seen her. I have no idea where she is and how she is doing. If I don't hear her this year then I'll just search the whole world in order to find her. These days I get a feeling that something is going to happen soon but I have no idea what.

"Are you going to Sinha's wedding?", Rihan asked while sitting next to me in my office.

"I haven't decided yet", I said.

"You should go after all they are your in-laws"

"In-laws who are ready to slit my throat if I set foot inside their house"

"Don't be so dramatic. Why did they send you an invitation card if they are ought to murder you?", Rihan chuckled.

"I haven't been there ever so don't you think that it might be awkward to go there out of blue"

"I don't think so, your personal secretary also lives there you know right so why don't you go with her"

"She'll probably be the last person I'll go there with"

"What if you bump into her there? You know whom I'm talking about right?"

"You know it's really mean to mess around with someone's pain", I say looking at him.

"Wait I'm not..I'm sorry. I forgot I shouldn't bring her up so casually but how long are you gonna wait? Can't you be the first person to go back? What if she's waiting for you? and you here believing that she'll come to you running back? What if she's got some-"

I glare at him.

"Don't glare at me I'm just telling you the truth and as your best friend I need to face the reality instead of living in illusions"

"Not again Rihan we've already discussed this topic ton of times"

"Are you ashamed that it's been so long and you still don't take my advice"

"Okay cool I'll go"

"Promise?"

"What if she isn't there?"

"As someone with good intuition, I'm telling you SHE WILL BE THERE"

"I'll tell Ahana about you lying to her about the party last year if your intuition fails"

"Wtf you can't do that. That's unfair."

"It's a deal"

"Ayushman", he yells as I step out of the office for getting some fresh air.

Sometimes it feels like everyone's moving ahead and I'm the only one who's lost my way. Like I'm the only loser. Like I'm the only one standing still.

Whenever I feely lonely I just look at the sky as if it's her face and whispered bhul gaya jag saara tere naal pyaar ae saari saari raat mujhe tera intezar hai

( I forgot the whole world, you're the only person I'm in love with, and each and every night my heart only waits for you)

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I hope my translation is right in the last part for all my non-Hindi/Punjabi readers <3 and by the way it's a lyric from the song CHANNA VE.

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THANK YOU <3

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